i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
