About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
