Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
