She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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