Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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