"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
