I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
