There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Randomize
