Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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