I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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