Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
