she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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