Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
