she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
