His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
