I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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