he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
