I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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