i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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