i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
