he wants to bone in the snuggie
please come you make the beer taste better
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
