There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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