As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
