The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Randomize
