i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
