just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
