I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
