This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
