i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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