Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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