when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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