my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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