well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
