Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
