Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
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