I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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