Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You pole danced in your parka.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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