You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
