Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
