I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Sorry about my life...
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
