your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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