come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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