whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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