i just snorted my name. best moment ever
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
