Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Randomize
