Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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