Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
