JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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