Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
