hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
