I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
