He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
