I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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