Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
