I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
