Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I have tasted many bathrooms
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