I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
