So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
