im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
