Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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