i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
