You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
