Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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