my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
