Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
