We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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